I wish i were a child again.

A way to pull through a day is to hold on,hold on.hold on..
As you gorw older,you tend to see someone's face as a facade to their true-self.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Last blogged @

HAVING OUR SELF DECLARE HOLIDAY !

MADELEINE & CARRIE'S :)

Actually we're sick T_T

We are cool know!

Camwhore for us.

Bye.

11 April 2012 :D

Labels: COOL GIRLS :P

Monday, April 02, 2012
Last blogged @

Currently back to blogger.

I've tried to understand many things. I know behind my back, you've did things or either talk to girls or even meet girls, I've lied to you before, how can you not lie to me of this kind of things? know you're just afraid i might break up with you because you talk to girls, you meet girls. I can never believe a guy not talking to girls or meet girls. I should just forget about it, i just would like to be a fool to you, i rather don't wanna know anything than i know, and i got paranoid again. During this 1 year 6 months, i hadn't been really happy. I know you can't give me much things as you're in NS, i really understand & i mean it. I didn't want anythings from you, just that i doesn't want you to talk to girls or meet any girls, i know you couldn't do me thus favour. I've held my feelings for so long, and you know i couldn't express myself all i know is to cry and get angry, this is when i wanna express, 'I'm in pain'. Maybe to you, you'll think I'm dramatic,I'm annoying. This is your thinking, i couldn't stop you from thinking anyway. I've really stopped contacting any other guys, my intention was to make you feel secure, cos i know the feelings of being insecure. All the while, I hadn't been feeling secure, was it that I'm being too paranoid. I couldn't stop myself from being paranoid either :) .. I still remember, there's this moment i kept wanting you to come over my house to accompany me, that was the time i really needed you, i wanna see you,so there was this time you took half day leave, i called you and cried, i even begged you to come over to my place, but you just said: ''bye bye i wanna sleep,stop crying la I'm so tired". Do you know how does this feels? I've tried my best to always be there for you,I've tried my best in everything. I even tried my best to look nice, just for you. Do you know the reason i skipped school? Everynight I'm so paranoid, i couldn't sleep & I'm also afraid if i go school, you'll think that I'm actually having affair or going toilet with guys. I really really feel like quitting school, i thought just by being with you, my life would be fine. I was wrong then, I didn't know i could be so dumb. Meanwhile, there's times when I'm afraid of loosing you. I'm afraid if there's other girls better than me,I've stopped thinking this way. I was so afraid to tell you many things, but now, i've found peace within myself as i know you've founded out every truth, I've stopped hiding things from you or even lied. You've took care of me till now, so far, now you've gotta see me walk alone, you've seen apart of my life, seen me growing up. You still mean alot to me, we were meant to be, but its time now. Letting you go, seeing you being happy with other girl, would make me alot happier. Just by seeing you happy, I'll be fine. Just like what you told me, 'secretly love a person'. I've been faithful to you :) I didn't betray you, i can tell you this. I didn't even got the guts to betray you. You know I've been falling apart, I've been breaking down. I'm gonna be 17 years old in 2 days time, I'm getting older like you. I've been a lil' fat till skinny,I've graduated from secondary school, I've really been a nice girl. I've tried my best to be beautiful inside & out. I'm just afraid of being lonely, i found out that everyone who said: ''I'll be there for you'', left. Even my family,relative, one by one is leaving, i couldn;t face the fact, theres this pain in me which i couldn't describe. My family has been quiet now, grandma gone, you gone, daddy's working, sister is going out with friends, me and my brother & mum has got nothing to talk. Now you know why i always wanna meet & see you everyday? Because I'm always hiding inside my room and think alot, and i feel alot alot lonely. Suddenly so much people has start leaving. I wanted to leave too, i wanna get out this building, which i know sucide can't solve my problems, but i think it could take me lighter, i've been under alot of pressure, i really couldn't take every blow at once, i'm still a girl, I may be weak. My anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness, that is also to tell you I've been hurt. Someday you'll realise that you just can't find 'me' in someone else and that no one could love you the way i do. & I'm sorry, sometimes i gets jealous thinking that someone else could ame you happier than i could. I guess its my insecurities acting up. Because I know I'm not the prettiest, smartest or most fun & exciting person. But I do know that no matter how hard or long you look, you'll never find somebody loves you like i do. I held a grudge for a long time, my pride was wounded and my feelings torn. Memories become bittersweet. A time when all i can do is hope that somehow you'll realise what a difference you made in my life and hpw you contributed to the person I've become. I can't ignore the feelings that once were, I can, however let go and remember. Sometimes I might think,I simply couldn't hold on to us and fantasy any longer. Although the painful memories will always remain, I am now begginning to believe in myself. Sometimes, the most loving thing I can do for you is to let you go. I've embraced enough pains throughout our journey. One day you'll look back and think "I really meant something to her". "Once you lose someone, its never exactly the same person who comes back". Have you ever really truly loved me? I've gave everything to you, i hope you did cherish. I know somethings could not be taken back, but i hope you'll remeber how exactly for every first time. I didn't regret knowing you & even be with you. By a year, I'll be seeing you working & getting the bike you've wanted. It has been hard on you, of me. You'll be happier now, it takes time to get over someone,I'll admit this. Especially the enthu us, everywhere we have memories, we've been to so many places. If i didn't know you, i've never been to so much place before and know so much things. Its time for me to walk alone. Sorry to tell you that, I've already become a lesbian, although i know it wasn't right. I don't care how people is going to mock at me, but i hate to be with guys, i know exactly what guys want. Now that I'm so afraid of taking chances, I'll keep myself on the safe side. My wound is to deep, there's this scar in me which is big. I hope you'll take your time to delete our photos, else your next girlfriend wouldn't will like, like me i told you before. You must move on, don't do anything silly alright? Idiot. Promise me you would be happy now and then. I'm Madeleine, don't forget about us. I know i disrespect you, im sincerely sorry. i just wanna be special to someone, no boyfriends (ex) has treated me right, all i know is, in my life, no one will truly love me. I don't know what have i done wrong. We'll be apart from now, Yes i'll secretly love you :) I'll be your passerby from now then. Sorry that I've always been too much paranoid, and you find me annoying. I won't, i no longer will. I won't exist in your life again, I'll make myself as far as i could from you. Sorry that i loved you too deeply, that is exactly why I began to be paranoid.. I'll keep you in my heart, I'm happy that you were once mine. You've bring me till so far, be happy Daniel. I'm leaving...

17th in 2 days time... Happy 20th life and all, all the best for everything ahead..

19 Sep 2010-3rd April 2012.

Labels: Blissful goodbye.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011
Last blogged @

Wonder

I am already tired of what's going on. Why after you're really close w' me, you treats my house like somekind of hotel or kopitiam, and you always leave me for your friends. Did i treat you this way? If i were the one treating you this way, you'll hate me. Yes i always got this thinking like you're just mine, no one elses. But whenever you're going out w' your friends, i gets really paranoid, you can do so much things behind me which i wont know yet you can also deny, and maybe i was the one always being fooled by your lies. So i was thinking like, maybe when you're gone, i wouldn't feel this way anymore, because its like when i'm with you, im feeling very paranoid and sad. It was also like im having more unhappiness than happiness being w' you, and i always tell myself that,two person being together is to be happy, but i was feeling otherwise. Until now, you still don't understand me, so who are you to me? My boyfriend, or just my friend when you has got no one to go to then you came to look for me? Sometimes i really feel like letting go, cos all along im having sorrows, not happiness. If there's a day when i dont bother about you or not stopping you from anything, you must understand that I've gave up on you, i no longer love you and belong to you. But don't blame me, because i gets tired too, and you really disappoint me utterly much. Why're you treating me this way? When i hits you many times, means i've got something in my heart which i couldn't be able to have courage to tell. I thought i don't needa have friends, just with you all along, but all along i was wrong. You weren't always the one for me, sometimes i dread to face you.. I'm working for myself now, i wouldn't will spend money on anyone again, but yes still, my bestfriend and families. Even if i spend on you, i don think you're gonna appreciate it. Now that im working, i've met new people and im also going through different lifestyle w' different people. Can you not leave me for your friends when you're alr at my house, and i thought you would accompany me, but i was wrong. Yes i admit that you and your friend has got more memories than me, they are much more important to you, but can you treat me special? I feel that I'm also like your friends, thats why i would feel upset all the time. Yes i am just a girlfriend of yours, someone who weren't important to you. Now that im working, all i want is also sometimes one whole day with you, but no you doesn't give. "I am jealous of people getting close to you especially when you show them the real you. It's not that i am selfish,im just afraid that you'll be too happy with them & you'll forget about me" I bet you felt this way either..

Labels: Tired of loving.

Sunday, October 16, 2011
Last blogged @

Sometimes i gets really tired. Things i told you i dont like yet you still do. I hated being insecure and everything like how im feeling now.. Why am i feeling like when you needs me then you wants me? When i wasn't needed, your friends were much more important? Daniel, lemme tell you, I'm changing, i got influence by you, I'll make more friends, go out w' friends more often than going out w' you, so i wouldn't always give you attitude and all kinds of shit and wont not let you go out w' your friends again, so that i wouldn't will doubt you. When I've changed, don't blame me cos i feel tired living just w' you, family, cousins, a few bestfriend.. I'm still young, why do i deserve sucha lil' amount of friends and always stick w' just a few people in my life? I guess I'll get my career and do things that i want.. I'm changing.. So that you wouldnt kept telling me that if being w' you were so unhappy, i can dont be w' you what.. i dont wanna hear all this kinda shits again, perhaps i can say i am moving on..

I'M GONNA CHANGE..

Labels: I'm changing, moving on.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Last blogged @

Hey you.

Hi i got so much things to rant.

Family-
I don't know what's wring w' my mum, shall stop talking about her, its just wasting of my time. I also dislike my sis. Why's my dad and brother the best, how i wish i can marry my dad, thats all or either my brother. And I don't understand why our ATM card can't be withdrawlled, and have to owe my bf, i think he fucking mind man please, look at his face, it can be seen through, if you mind then tell me then, We won't owe you, its not as if like we won't return you back right? We no money to return you back?? Just that all of our card can't be withdrawl, else we wouldn't wanna owe you ;) Well, some people were just money minded kind, yes? :)

Relationship-
Well i dont know anything, I mean i know, but look whatever i wanna say, people would come to me and question me, sickening. I still didn't get over of what i think, you can kept denying and denying but till when? Or maybe he really has something that he may be hiding from me? He tell me that he thinks i am the one doing and hiding things behind him, haha leh. Sub me, yes? no?

Friends-
oO bitches.

Labels: Im done.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Last blogged @

I just fucking hate my mum, i dont know why is she so against me everyday. i really hate her so much, i wished i had just a single parent without my mum. if she really dislike me so much, she can just disown me, why i've become today its all because the way my mum is treating me so badly, its not that i purposely wanna react this way all these days. I hate her, i wish i could afford to buy my own house and i can disown my mum. She's a slut i swear, i thinks she's having affair outside which she feels guitly, if she's against me ever again. i'll leak everythingto my dad. I curse my mum that she'll get raped by that guy, sell my mums body away, i feel so proud that im unlike her. I wants my mum to die. I've had enough of my mum, its time for her to die and get to hell. I wish my dad is also having affair outside yet dont have a mum like my mum, pls change a mum for me.. This mum is despicable, she's a bitch, I've alr grown up yet she still hits me, i did beat her back since she doesn't respect me oo then why should i? haha dont be funny.

I WANT MY MUM TO DIE ;)

Saturday, October 08, 2011
Last blogged @

Sighs, life.

Wtf am i thinking about, i mean again? Really hate it, I've been going through this kinda feelings thoroughly over and over again, eek so bitchy. I've got sucha doubtful mind, how great? : Because of whatever I'm thinking, it'll fucking gonna make my day. Little things can make me feel unhappy now a days, I'm so unsure about what's going on. Perhaps whatever I've been doubting might has already happened just that i don't know at all, sure there'll be 'some' people do hide things from me or maybe i got fooled. When I'm quiet, just beware of what you do and how you talk to me, I'll hurt you, for sure. I'm not satisfied, i dont wanna emphasize what is it, but hope that certain person will realise ;) I can be very nice despite how you treat me or talk to me, but if you talk to me in a way i dislike, sorry huh i'm much more better talking rudely to you. I'm not a nice girl if you were to do things or talk to me in a way i dislike, guess you'll suck your thumb. I'm getting to dread waking up everyday, and also sleeping. Waking up, I would think alot, while when I'm sleeping i dreamt of those crazy scene then waking up feeling empty, cb. If i wanna be better than anyone, i can be. Omg and i"m already on my holiday, wonder what am i gonna do. Thats all i guess, so much things to say yet i cant really explain here.. i mean my feelings either,i still feel all the same all the time which make me feel horendous, fucking bitch.. I'm also a horendous person kk -.- I hate those people whom do things and doesn't admit & also, say this do that lemme tell you i hate you this kinda people. Or maybe what i was thinking has really happened hor, just that you didn't wanna admit and tell me..

I'm going, feeling terrible.
There's so much I've felt I should say but even if your heart would listen, i doubt i could say cos you'll never want to admit and never telling me the truth and you'll never get to feel how i feel.

Labels: Fuck life.

Thursday, October 06, 2011
Last blogged @

I was so bored yet has also got the urge to blog.

Monday, October 03, 2011
Last blogged @

MADELEINE & DANIEL

MADELEINE...

[US]

Hi, hadn't been updating my bloggy thats why it seems dead. Many things happened recently, i must face everything alone, but i guess I've overcome.. My heart was thinking so much, i kept telling myself not to. Last night, waking up thinking so much, like i felt all alone and thinking about everything thats happening. People wouldn't will or gonna understand me. Relationship? I guess we're alright? I know I shouldn't be bothered too much, but sometimes i over think which wasn't what i wanted. Well,finish blogging then.. Don't talk to me when im in sucha horendous mood, i'll kill you. and im hating a girl, bitch. I'm gonna dance dance & dance,im gonna make my days busier so that i wouldnt think alot huh. Were you there.. I hate treating people nicely else they'll take advantage of it, sick. No matter what, I love US alot though we're not as close as we were. this is how relationship goes, being together for long, it'll always end up this way, how great. what am i not satisfied now? I've got everything i got and everything I want. I don't like people to spend on me, waste of money. Something im excited about was my cousin is coming back, he should see how much things had actually change. I've alr lost 1 cousin, yo how great? ;) You got a immature mindset, pls be more kind. And dont scold me guai lan or what seriously, im just protecting myself dumb, unlike you. At least i got this ability and i know my mouth is full sarcasm. Omg my dior foundation, you bitch. Heartfelt love. oO i miss my bestfriend, miss carrie. I'm always gossiping w' her, we've got few of same kind, violent is one. My boyfriend, I love you. I didn't ask for much but how i really hope is we'll get back close like how we used to be, but i think its impossible, nah its ok... i've never met someone great like you, someone who can tolerate me throughout everything despite my attitude so bitchy. Thanks for always being there for me when i needed you the most, i appreciate. I really doesn't know how to express, but to use my words to thankyou. Suddenly missing you so much. We grow up together within a part of our life, it'll never be forgotten.

Splendid thoughts,everything happens for a reason.

Labels: Someone like you/.

Sunday, August 21, 2011
Last blogged @

WE'RE FINE :)

Suddenly have the urge to blog. We're fine,i hope it stays this way. I will try to be a good girlfriend ok? Just that i'm really impulsive,straight forward,harsh ESPECIALLY. Just give me a room to change,all need is time and wait for me. I had so much fun with you all over the weekend,not only weekend,everyday only when we dont quarrel la! :( My life has changed,since you came in. I can say its getting better. But sometimes when we quarrel,i always think otherwise but afterall i was happy having you by my side all the time. Even when i bully you,or hurt you by my words,you still didn't dread me away but still there for me and always trying to make me happy. I am happy,dont worry. I love it when you pick me after school then after that we had lunch together :) Let's put tattoo together,maybe after my 'N' level or something. I know you dote me alot. I've never had anyone whom is always w' me all the time,before i'm going to school,you accompany me and even lifted me down. No matter what,my love has never change for you just remember this. AWESOME BOYFRIEND :p

Labels: I'm in love w' you all over again /.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Last blogged @

Paranoid or Happening?

I've got so much to rant about. I am PARANOID,all of you got it? Or whatever i was thinking hasbeen happening? I went to my bed reluctantly as before i could fall asleep, here comes my 'bestfriend' (Paranoid). I've already tried to keep myself as busy,but no matter how busy am i, i still thinks alotta. I always think that I'm not goonough,indeed. I'm just getting tired of myself, FUCK yknow? ;) Things hadn't been going well,its not the person whom change,its the person whom is getting better at lying. It's extremely alright yknow, as everything you've did behind my back,it'll backfires on you. What comes around,goes around as well :) I'm trying not to think about it so much, 'N' level is coming this is much more important than some of the people lor seriously. It's just a waste of time! I guess i shouldn't be too straight forward,else i might be afraid if i hurt people's feeling oh. Pulling back myself, trying to take things easily. People do come and go, so easy come easy go, best way yeah? I'm actually jealous i bet you dont even know or know? ;) Hahaha gonna wear da jacket or whatever fuck your ex wore before? Oh well :D What can i do right,i thought everything has alr past,its ok! The prince will come, frog leaves. I may be very cold towards you,yeah so.... 'N' level is just round da corner,i shall do my best,its time to buck up. I'm fine without your existance,presence tho'. I've endured, but why i think so much right? I think so much in the end what i got? You're happy,but me? Thinking so much while you're happy,like WHAT THE FUCK right? ;) Why i waste so much time on this kinda things, silly plus naive! ByeBye! Boy,i've done my best. When i'm not around,hope you ain't lying to me.

Labels: Paranoid/.

Sunday, July 03, 2011
Last blogged @

Take things easy.

Things are getting bad i guess? Its really alright you know. Our romance seems to fade,everything seems different. I really envy seeing those couple being so sweet. Im more happier now a days cos i dont get paranoid anymore, jealousy dont take over me either(hardly). I think this should be the way i should stay :) Doubts? Doubt everyday,i dont and wont trust again. Now a days i spent more time w' my friends,last time 'used to be' w' my bf, nah c'mon its ok,im really happy being this way now. Is everything coming to an end? No more fear of jealousy;paranoid :) I am happy the way i am now,dont ruin my life. People are lefting in my mind. Last time night haunts me, some 'name' haunts me, im alr over it now cos there isn't a point afterall :) Im happy,you're happy. My mind has changed, cos there's someone whom kepts telling me to do so,i love you she's my love. Whatever you wanna do behind my back,do so,i no longer care so much anymore ok? :) No more angers taking over me,but disappointment,but it'll be away soon.

Labels: Ending/.

Sunday, June 26, 2011
Last blogged @

Hi :)

Bbq was kinda awesome yesterday,ate alot,nice sting ray but its too spicy (!) Was happy yesterday,but after a lil' while of being happy,something i get really furious about it,mf. I get really exhausted yesterday,watched mignight movieee w' Peiyan & Shi Hui,Popper's Penguin. Wow its adorable. :) I had so much fun yesterday. I'm not gonna dread about whatever i'm unhappy w', its not worth. I'll just ignore cos i know there's something called RETRIBUTION. My friends was awesome in everyway they are, there's also someone whom nvr fails to be there for me,i know who :) Thankyou,loveyou. Some people just say things but nvr does it, sucha failure you are,epic one. (Temporily hatred) Dont put the blame on me,i'm gonna be happppyy,fuck! :)

Labels: ;')

Sunday, June 19, 2011
Last blogged @

Maybe this is fate. I'm so unhappy. All i can do is to hang on & bear w' it.

MOTHER FUCKER :)
KARMA STRIKES YOU :)

Labels: life

Saturday, June 18, 2011
Last blogged @

I'M STRESS

I'm really getting stress each day. I can break down anytime whenever i gets too stress. If you its really embarassing that when im w' you,i cried,you can dont bring me out anymore,i seriously dont mind. I didnt know you'll say this,well? :) I'm really getting tired of many things,just stop testing me. I always think so much,i dont know why,which i think it ain't worth at all. I'm unhappy everyday,just because of a lil' things that happened or i gets paranoid. All of you dont know what am i thinking,so i think you all please stop asking me,its seriously annoying please. Especially when you all force me to -.-". This year,people said i had a drastic change in my attitude,i knew it well either,its something that causes me to become like me today,you all cant blame me. Why i love so tough? why? why must i always think alot. Now,i'll try to stop all these nonsense,but all because i'm too much stress. Sometimes i dont understand you. I really wanna know what you're always doing behind my back. People told me this: 'your bf may stay up night to sms you,but behind you wouldn't know he's texting how many more girls. Your bf may not text girl infront of you,telling you he didn't/dont text girls,but after he go home, things might change'. These few sentence really makes me think alot,as people can do things behind you which i wouldn't know,things can be hidden. I dont know that is there anything you're hiding from me or what? or am i just thinking too much. How to know if your love is true to me? i get jealous easily ok? i hate the feelings. Nevermind -.- Bye,fml i just dont know when my life would end,I'm so tired. Thank's for bringing me out on that day and i still make you embarass inside the shopping centre and make you unhappy w' me. I know you're irritated by me,cos i cried inside shopping centre. This is me,accept me or not ;) I'm really ok with it. If for you,its better without me, tell me,i can leave right now. I wont drag,i'll just go.

'Sometimes life is better off without some people'

Labels: Upside down life/.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Last blogged @

.. BAD MOOD ..

Hi,I'm moody now which it always happens,(paranoid!) There're so much things that are bothering me badly. I had a bad dream yesterday,its the scariest nightmare. It has been a long time since i'm having a nightmare. This year is seriously a screwed up year for me,my life kinda went upside down,sometimes life is really cruel. I got no motivations to study,i've even got the intention to quit school. I dont know what am i thinking,as i know i'm just gonna ruin my future. I'm not helping myself to get over this intention,yet i kept dreading. I'm gonna drop D&T soon,just a letter from my parents to teacher, I'll drop. Well,i was too much,i felt guilty,i've always been asking my parents for a big amount of money and they'll just give me,and i spent it all without using my brain. (Obnoxious) I want a great change in my life,though i'm already satisfied w' most all the things i had in my life. Love? Alright i guess my love life was kind fine? Just that i kept thinking about those past things which makes me think so much & i got moody and moody. I seriously dont wish to go on like this,i must get over it so i wont be so depressed all the time. I'm superb happy now as my little cousin is staying over at my place today,and me and her has got eeyor :P This my life,its simple pleasant. Anddd yes,i also know that people would leave my life, i just got a 'i dont give a fuck' attitude. Love me or leave me,its so simple and i know it'll be fine as without some people in my life,its better and of course life goes on :)! There're sometimes,somethings that makes me so upset about,disappointed. I just hope the one i love wouldn't doubt my love. I dont like people to doubt me,please know how it feels being doubted when you're really telling the fucking truth. I dislike someone,that person kept liking & liking status,like all?? wtf are you trying to get some attention? I hate your actions. :/ Damn why am i being to bad to even dislike someone just like this? Its really obnoxious like how i think. I seems so unhappy w' so much things, andd right jealousy kills.

'Its funny how people who know the least about you always have the most to say'.

Is jealousy much more hurtful than being hurt?

Labels: FML/.

Sunday, June 12, 2011
Last blogged @

Heyoo :)

Heyoo:)

Alright we didn't quarrel yesterday. Like finally i've told you whatever i've been longing to tell you. Mind at ease,finally. Doesn't mean we quarrel or argue,means im gonna leave you,its not like how you think. No matter how big blow our quarrel is,my love will nvr gonna change for you,i hope you understand. I miss you,i'm always here for you,dont worry. I hope this almost 9th month time,i didn't gave you much worries & problems. I hope being w' me is a happiness. But if you think you're better off w/o me,all it means. I'm just really happy being w' you,though some of our times & days screw up,but i'm still happy than happy. I know when i got upset or angry,i gave you attitude,i yell at you.. I know you cant stand me,& i know there'll be a day you would be tired of bearing my attitude. I can't wait for you to book out :) I can't wait to go out w' you,watch movie & have our popeye which we've been craving since last month. Anddddd i'm really so sorry that i always gives you attitude & even yell at you when you're in no wrong andd that i vent anger on you. I hope you understand i really couldn't control my emotions.Andd i make you angry sometimes or even upset and spoiled your day. Butttt i'm really thankful that i've got you for always being by my side for me,sincerely much appreciated. Nothings gonna change my love for you. Happy 9th Month Anniversary in advance. Though i hardly would tell you 'i love you',but i really do. Please be happy,its all i'm asking for. When i see you laugh & smile so much,it makes me feels more happier than you. Making your love ones laugh & smile,its a happiness. :) See you soon,i'm done blogging,off/.

May we last long,Madeleine & Daniel.

Labels: :)

Sunday, May 08, 2011
Last blogged @

Hi Penguin here :D

Today's mother day :) Happy Mother's Day,beloved mummy! I loveyou.

Anyway i'm now missing you, hoping time past faster so that you can book out earlier. Can't wait to see you in your botak style :P Why're you away for so long!? Hmm actually i still think alot too, i couldn't sleep at night,couldn't wake up in the afternoon. I know,you wanna drink china apple,eat mac & chocolate when you're back, see i rmb so clearly :) Everyday, i'm getting more & more tired i got no idea why. I feel so lifeless, kept staying at home doing nothing. Sometimes idk what am i doing? when i close my eye, listen songs,i start to think alot (paranoid la) sometimes i would even cry over a lil' small things.. :/ I want us happy ok? I alr have almost everything i want, that's enough,i can't ask for so much,had more than enough. Sometimes being afraid. I've got a habit of keeping everything to myself, i felt it safer. But by bottling up so much inside, i feel so depress. Alright stop blogging now, waiting for him!

We can only divorve,hahahha! :D yknow i know.

Labels: Insane moment.

Saturday, May 07, 2011
Last blogged @

Hi People :)

I'm back blogging since my blog is dead.
My bf is in NS now,he have to camp there for 2 damn weeks. (TORTURING)! I miss him so much so much..

My weekend was empty as he isn't here w' me, grr just kept waiting for him to book out, it's like taking forever.P.s, not linking people anymore. I still have tempt to blog, so i could vent my anger & rant everything heree.. :) Without him, i'm effing bored, yes la lonely but what can i do? WAIT FOR HIM. Alright :) Yesterday midnight me & peiyan can't sleep, so we text.

Well,imma person whom gets jealous easily,hmm yes sensitive either, kay so does my bf! :P like a girl talk to him,i get jealous,but i would think again what for? he only talk to the girl, the one he love still me. Think so??? I only check his phone sometimes, secretly :x He has alr find out so yeah hee :D idk ley,just got the urge so scared if any of his ex contact him,LOL! You see i'm paranoid -.-" Jealousy kills,its a scary word either. Doubt,guess its common or not?? :/ From now on,we could only spend time tgt only on..if i ain't wrong,friday,satturday & sunday? Nvm at least a day w' you :) I want him faster come out pillion me go out!! I know you want me, I know i want you, hahahahahaha hilarious lo. :) Tsk am waiting for him, to come out to book out. Exam period now,but gonna end too.. studied like mad,as its last minute one. I blog what i feel, just be frank & straight forward. Anyway, friends? some sucks. I told him many things i'm going through in school,that kind of feeling seriously fuck-up. Sometimes,i just suffer in silence,well its alright :) I just need you,not my friends. Why're some of my friends so fake,so ridiculous,so nasty,so despicable,so vicious,so bitchy?? Daniel,tell me. KARMA,waiting for you to feel how i felt this whole time in school. I'm just tired of having friends around.I suffered during those days. Im now , SUPER ANTI SOCIAL. That's better,I may be more happier than the past & having many friends the past. I have you,enough.

Waiting for you to book out,wanna see you botak! :)

Labels: Hmm/.

Thursday, January 13, 2011
Last blogged @

Everyone I'm backkkkk! :)

School starts & so many coursework to be done :/

Many things i may be confuse of,now am rushing to finish my coursework.

& sorry for being so cold towards everyone this few days D;

My blog is almost dead for a few months,will be back real soon!

There's many things i wanna say but i forgotten mostly..

Anyway i miss you. /. Ps that day i really think alot,cos i will also gets paranoid what.. :/

School is so tiring,assembly is bored,at home bored.Only you w' me,so i am not.

6 more days to our 3rd months anni :) Hope we last long/.

Labels: I'm back :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010
Last blogged @

Basically out w' cousin then went to aunts house (:
I'm so moody today,i got fed up easily,i couldn't control my anger,fucked up.
Detestable/.
Called Pamelia in th middle of th night :/ Talked so long till phone batt flat.
Thank's girl,its always you. (:
Yes,it utterly ain't easy to be a good gf,yet i'm trying to.
I wanna be th best of me.I've told you times,i'm someone whom is dumb at proving.I'll always try my best to make you feel happy w' me,i doesn't want us to argue;quarrel.All i've ever wanted is,we both live happily together.I didn't ask for much.I hope everything gets better after today.I doesn't wanna be lika burden to anyone.
I'm wondering,will we be fine after this?I really hope so D:
I'm glad hereby to have you by my side.I''ll show you what i feel,I'll say what i want.& i wanna say to you,that you're th one.
Someone whom can hear me out despite my silence;someone whom can see me beyond all those mask i put. (: I'm willing to go through many things w' you when I'm still w' you,i wouldn't give up easily,I'll be there w' you,I'll prove you this.
We've got to overcome obstacle,nvr let th obstacle overcome us.I hope we're gonna be ok.
I'll always try my best to understand you.

You can fake your smiles & laughter,but you can never fake your tears & feelins'.

Stay strong,move on.

Labels: Fuckedup/.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Last blogged @

Alright it seems like we both think alot. :/
I hope i could know what you're thinking about.
No,it wasn't like i prefer guys that sweet talks,it was like cos my exs were all like that.
& you're th only one whom treats me differently from them,seriously.
Even by a word,my day would be screwed.I hope i can stop being so..like paranoid,but i couldn't.I hope this mind of mine being paranoid,wouldn't prolong.I should think negatively.
Well,no matter how you think about me,it's gonna be fine w' me,cos i can;t stop what you're thinking.
Whatever it is,i still misses you alot. D:
Sorry,I'm being so like ignorance or cold this few days toward you,i never think about how you feel :/ I couldn't control my mood.I'm tired of myself being so bad,like never spare a thought for you,never think how you actually feel.Alright i'm writing here,hope you see this.
I'm talkin' on phone w' you right now,yet blogging too cos i feel so bad.
Hoping things will get better for both of us,smile :D
A smile is just a smile afterall,I'm not hurt nor tired in this love of ours.

I'm off/.
-Missin' ya-

Labels: Hoping for a better tmr/.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Last blogged @

Just like this/.

Now a days i got moody easily. :/

I think alot,alot,alot,alot,alot! D: Never stops.

Nothing else,having a moodswing,headache.

Just...WTF

Labels: Moody/.

Sunday, October 24, 2010
Last blogged @

Well,this is how it goes..

2 days spending w' B! :D Jasmine also.

Yesterday went Northpoint for pasta mania then off to jasmine's house w' B&Sh till midnight.

Then B&me went to slack,he went home at 4 plus midnight.

Miss him so much. D:

Woke up so late today,then dad asked me what i wanna eat,i just said sting ray,then he say ok he bring me me supper w' family.Then after dinner,Mum wanna go giant,so dad suggested to go tampines giant.Bought many stuffs,something scares me :/

Argh there'll be school tmr,Miss Norfida is gonna talk to me,fine.

Have to go now/.

Am missing missing you.

Labels: School/.

Thursday, October 21, 2010
Last blogged @

My dear boyfriend & I.

Steamboat day today! (:

W' Boyfriend,Bestfriend,Family.

Woke up late as usual,text B first..

Went to meet B first then off to buy drinks!

Waiting for dad & jasmine to come home.Hope all of you enjoyed today/.

Full alr,then went to walk w' B,take picture,heheheh! B sent me home.

Then mum & dad say drive them home.

I really really enjoyed today!I hope to have a day like today again.

Well,just by being beside B,am damn happy alr.Now what? I miss him! Grr D:

He has to work tmr,while no school for me.Feel like meeting him tmr,since next day i a saturday,only scared he's tired.

That's all,I love you all! :D Boyfriend,Bestfriend,Family.

Labels: Steamboat day/.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Last blogged @

Today woke up then meet Benjamin & Jasmine cabbed to northpoint for subway! ;)

Pass by a shop,suddenly remembered B told me his ear stud lost,so went to buy.

Then subway for him! ;) Hope it taste niceeee xP

After that,mrt-ed to meet B at Yew tee,wow his house was beautiful but very high.

Slacked then went to meet mum for dinner. :/ Mum forced me to eat eat eat.

Homed. (:

Can't wait for steamboat tmr ohyes! (L)>

Mum talk to me so nicely today,find it weird? x.x Random either.

-I miss you.-

Labels: Extra happy/.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Last blogged @

Today didn't go school,woke up so late.

Cab to causeway point,just to help mum do her things.. :/

Cab back home pass her her stuffs then cabbed to northpoint,cos really rushing.

Went to buy B's thing,then went to somewhere write th card,delayed his time. D:

After that went home bath then off to meet B! :D Happy tons!

Walked to mac (: Then went to our same old place.

Then we walked a long way home,yay!My shirt got his perfume smell :D Very niceee.

*B,hope you like th bear! (:

& ps cos my handwriting abit up&down.. :/ plus th chinese words.

I delayed your time,because i'm writing th cards,that's why i let you waited so long/.

Happy 1st month Anniversary,may we last long (:

-UOYEVOLI-

You're special/.

Labels: B/., Happy 1st month Anniversary

Sunday, October 17, 2010
Last blogged @

Here to update again! (:

Yesterday,meet Baby & Jasmine.

Spent th whole day w' Baby,happy :DD

Went to northpoint,then basketball.Watched Baby play basket ball,he very small size. >_<"

Me & jasmine were talking there,then jasmine went off first.

Accompany Baby to mac for dinner. (:

Walked,sitted,singing. :D I really love yesterday.Hope to have a day like yesterday again.

3 more days!!

Spent th whole yesterday w' Baby,wow! Just by being w' b,no matter where i go,though its bored,I'm still happy that he's being by my side. (: Midnight,we were talking about past.

We kept drinking & drinking,didn't eat. :x Yay thursday B & jasmine coming over my house to have steamboat!Woo! *Excited*

Time flies.I love being w' you & of course by your side. (: You make me feel loved,yeah.

I love th way you are,its just you,DLJF.

After you came into my life,joys filled either.

B i do not know how to describe my feelings,so i love you,i adore you.

Its not like i profess my love to him everyday,or at all for that matter.I just watch him from distance & bug th crap out of him occasionally & delight in how he tries & fails to change th way i am.I rmb i watched him sleep,LOL.

Have to go! I'm happy!*

Labels: Baby/.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Last blogged @

Knew that my blog is real dead.
Back to update as dad has fix back th modem. [:
Got back my phone today,happy!! [:
Went Bishan w' jasmine to collect my phone,thanks (:
So bored,B sleep alr. D': cos he's damn tired.
He hao lian! Pass his bike test,hahahah!!
Have to go.

Labels: ^^

Sunday, October 03, 2010
Last blogged @